This is a chapter from my book ‘Powers of 9’ talking about different meditation techniques.
Stuff To Take
Before we go into the details of the actual teaching, we need to re-cap a little and talk about some general meditation points. Before I go on, I need to say, and will need to re-state this later, that we will be talking about a lot of meditation techniques, yet all of this can happen quite spontaneously. If we were truly able to stay with the reality ‘as it is’, from moment to moment, then all the stages of practise would simply unravel themselves bit by bit. At the same time, there are practises, techniques and an overall understanding of the process that can greatly facilitate our experience.
The first thing I want to talk about is pranayama. This is one of the elements of yoga that goes along with asana, physical postures, yamas and niyamas, moral practise, and dhyana, meditation. Pranayama are breathing exercises. The highest form of pranayama is to watch the natural breathing pattern, just as it is. This is much harder than most people who haven’t tried to meditate imagine. In fact, the very moment we turn our attention to breath, it’s almost impossible to not ‘interact’ with it, to alter the flow. I think it’s a bit like the principle that subatomic particles behave differently when there is an observer. We need to ‘be with’ the breath in order to observe it, but we need to ‘let go’ of ‘self’ as much as possible to allow the breathing to become as natural as possible.
To be able to practise the teachings that will follow, ideally, the meditator would be able, to some degree, to observe breath. When this practise, known in Buddhism as anapana is learnt, it can become an excellent touching-stone when working with meditation. There is lots of literature on this which includes clear and easy to follow guidelines, particularly in the various vipasana traditions. The Buddha highlights this as a very special object of concentration, it is something that is always happening in each moment, even if we are not aware of it, continuously linking the external world and the internal world together. He refers to it as the only object of concentration that can lead you directly to the awakened state1. The fact is, awareness of breath is present in the awakened state, and it is of great benefit to develop this from the beginning.
There is also the palate chakra, also known as the talu or lalana chakra, this is experienced when we perform a breathing technique that produces a glottal breath as the space between the tongue and the palate is slightly restricted. This restriction is caused by the tongue forming a ‘seal’ with the upper/hard palate. Then we breath ‘into’, or observe the breath as it forms in the area where the soft palate meets the base of the nasel passage2. This breath stimulates that area of the palate and focuses our attention there too. It is sometimes called a secret chakra since it is not one of the seven main chakras. In the kabbalistic tree of life, the name of this sephirot is Da’ath. Sometimes it is simply left off the diagrams, or is the shaded or dotted sephirot directly below kether, the crown, on the central column. Breathing through the constricted throat in this way gives a resonance not too dissimilar to the breathing pattern of our friend Darth Veda. It appears likely that George Lucas was tuned up to some higher sources and indicating the sephirot Da’ath that has it’s original roots in the ancient Vedas of india, hence Darth veda3. The way to work with the palate chakra is simply to connect to this way of breathing, this should be more of a subtle breath and not too much of a strong or forced breath, like most of us would do trying to imitate Darth Veda during one of his more quiet moments. This can happen naturally, but it is also worthwhile practising this type of breath so that it comes easily when we need to draw upon it.
Another pranayama exercise worth practising is kapalabhati, or the softer version known as agni prasana, the ‘fire breath’. This breath will help the yogi to ‘stay with’ the practise at times when the experience can become intense energetically. Once again, it must be stressed, that all this can happen naturally, but the more a yogi is prepared with techniques, ‘in their back pocket’, the more likely they will be, to be able to cope with whatever the practise throws up. ‘Whatever the practise throws up’, will be a little different for each practitioner, and changes for each practitioner over time.
One of my old vipasana teachers, Mr. S. N. Goenka used to give the instruction, ‘continuity of practise is the secret of success.’ For me, this in itself is an excellent teaching. You will see later, in the second part of the book, that circles are a key element to the teaching. Just as a circle is infinite, you can keep going round and round, so too, our attention needs to be developed so that our ability to ‘stay with’ the practise becomes more consistent. This is why we need to free ourselves from the ingrained mental habit patterns. It is the ‘grasping’ nature of mind that creates continual distractions, taking us away from this present moment.
Another element that can shift us out of being present is drowsiness. This is also one of the five hindrances in Buddhism. The five hindrances are, craving, aversion, drowsiness, doubt and restlessness. If you are drowsy you are less able to concentrate the mind, and this can be a manifestation of the ego-mind trying to block our process. Drowsiness though is something special in the teaching in this book. There is another aspect to drowsiness, which comes in, once we are already in a state of awakened mind. It is called the awakened state for a reason. The felt experience is genuinely akin to an experience of waking up. It is a shift into a higher ‘energetic’ experience of the moment. It’s a bit like going up in altitude, If we are not adjusted to this experience it can feel quite intense on the system. We need to acclimatise gradually, bit by bit. We can move up into these experiences rapidly, but depending on the practitioner, an experience that is too rapid, can have negative side effects for some. That’s why helplines for people who have a crisis during spiritual experiences have emerged. Such crises are usually related to strong kundalini awakenings. In my experience, the universe will not throw us anything we cannot handle, though it may certainly push our limits. If we come to practise with underlining mental health problems, or are using drugs or other things that might intensify our experience, this naturally increases the risk to have complications.
Coming back to drowsiness, in the awakened state, you might not be surprised to hear, that the eyes open, this happens quite naturally. Just as the eyes draw open as you enter into this state, after a certain period, the eyes, from my experience, will want to close. It feels exactly the same as when you are intensely tired, but are trying to watch a movie, or are in a social gathering, and you are trying to fight back tiredness, but, the eyes are closing. For me, this is the drowsiness we need to work with, sometimes this might be an indication to try to reconnect, we might need to drop down a bit in altitude in order to come back up with more energy. The drowsiness may be caused by the ego-mind chiming in, and starting to draw our attention, our energy. Staying ‘awake’ in this moment can be good practise. In other moments we may have been present for long enough, and it’s time to turn our attention back inwards to ‘see’ more clearly what’s bubbling up inside. If we ‘stay with’ this process of turning back inside, with a keen sense of awareness, we can find ourselves shifting quickly back into a state of awakened mind. In other moments, we have simply been working hard, or have reached a natural limit for this moment, we simply need to ‘take a break’, let the eyes close, and return to a more restive mediation, or to flow with ‘spontaneous meditaion’ which we’ll talk about in a moment.
I once went to a meditation teacher to ask about this experience of the eyes wanting to open, in my heart it felt right, but he advised me to keep my eyes firmly closed. After his advice I abandoned this practise. It’s ups and downs with everything, but with hindsight, my practise which had been evolving ‘naturally’ in a positive direction, was set back at that time. The Buddha himself in the ‘enlightenment posture’, is seated in the typical cross-legged position, the left hand is cupped in his lap, while the right hand is over the right knee with the finger tips touching the ground. The other defining feature is the half open ‘slitty’ eyes. When the Buddha finally awoke, the story goes that he called upon mother nature to verify his awakening experience. The Buddhas’ fingers are touching the earth, he is perched at the sense doors, the eyes are not closed in a deep state of samadhi, he is right here, right now, present to all that is.
I talk about the drowsiness that comes in and draws us out of the awakened state of mind, but when we observe carefully, we can also see this process taking place in general meditation. Let me try to explain the process that usually unfolds. While I’m sitting, the mind may be drifting, at a certain moment I notice and come back to presence, to the technique, or simple awareness. At that moment, noticing the distraction, we are touching the awakened space of mind, we are connected to the reality of this moment, the mind becomes stiller, awareness is more expansive. After a period of time, short or long, the expansive presence of mind reduces, but we’re still feeling fairly centered, still able to stay with a chosen practise. Thoughts may be bubbling quietly, but we are not strongly distracted by it. After a passage of time, in this space of awareness, short or long, we finally latch onto a thought bubble and are ‘lost’ into a chain of thoughts. This phase of being ‘lost’ can also last for a short or long period of time. The cycle is completed when we realise that we are lost in distraction, we come back to that which is real, coming back into the present moment.
This moment of realisation is a similar experience to ‘waking up’. The experience of the quality of awareness slowly reducing, the mind becoming more ‘sticky’, getting slowly drawn into the web of thoughts, this is ‘drowsiness’. The moment of attaching to a chain of thoughts, getting ‘lost’, is the equivalent to falling asleep.
The cycle can work in different ways. We can shift from being lost in thoughts to a more expansive consciousness, and then drop into an even deeper state of presence. When we enter into states we are not sufficiently accustomed to, we can either experience drowsiness as in the case above, or after a certain period, the mind can ‘freak out’ and we jump straight into the thinking process. It’s a bit like diving onto a chocolate cake after fasting, instead of having a small plate of veggies to break the fast.
The ability to stay with presence is a capacity we can cultivate, it is part of our natural make-up, but it is a latent tendency. This is why it is natural for us to find ourselves cycling through these different phases of wakefulness. Once we have taken the initiative to work with our consciousness, it then becomes a process of retraining4. Just like any other form of exercise, at first we need to train the muscles that are needed to perform specific movements. After a certain period of time being present, we get tired, and eventually fall into distraction, which is analogous to sleeping. Hence the phrase, ‘the yogi never sleeps’, the alert yogi is never lost in distracted thoughts. Put another way, the yogi stays aware of both internal sensations, physical, emotional and mental, while at the same time aware of the experiences coming through the sense doors.
This sort of cycle is something that we can experience over and over again. It is the quality of mind we experience through our day to day, moment to moment consciousness experience. At times fairly present, then caught up in distraction, then coming back to something more present, before being distracted again, and so on and so forth. The trick the yogi must develop is to break through this cycle. By this, I mean you have to ‘stay with’ the process of being aware at times when the mind is ready to drift into distraction. When we are able to ‘stay with’ in this way, we shift into a more expansive, or more stable awareness, for as long as that lasts. This capacity to not be overcome with drowsiness or distractedness is key to developing our practise.
Outside of the technique that I uncovered through the numbers, there are several other techniques that I still draw upon as and when I sense the need to use them. I would like to highlight a few of these here.
One technique I find useful at times, is what I call, ‘backtracking’. When we meditate, we are often whisked away from the practise, or simply from being present. This is when the mind tempts us out of our place of inner stillness. The mind, in full ‘monkey’ mode, swings from tree to tree, one thought brings up another, each thought a potential segue, to a spectrum of others. Soon you have gone from the seed thought ‘I’m hungry…’ to reliving memories of a holiday you had 10 years ago. This thought stream may be displaced by many thoughts that lead from one to the other. Just as Hansel dropped the stones so that they could find their way back home, our though processes, can also lead us ‘back home’.
We can trace back from the current thought, which we noticed, back through each link in the chain of thoughts, eventually you will come to the seed thought that brought you out of the centered place you were in. This is a type of investigative thinking, that also has the value of keeping the mind attentive, close to the space of expansive consciousness we seek, while still employing the thinking mind. This process is interesting for different reasons. Usually when we realise we have ‘strayed’ from practise, or that we are enmeshed in mind, this is a beautiful moment, it is a moment that is ‘with the reality’ of the here and now. But often what comes in on the tail of this realisation, can take us back towards distraction more than helping us to stay with the present moment. It depends on how long we’ve strayed and the level of concentration we have, everything is dependent on many interdependent conditions. If we’ve strayed for only a very short period, seconds, minutes, it may be possible to simply, ‘come back to practise’. If it’s been over a longer period, it becomes more complicated. Sometimes there are self recriminations, ‘I’m no good at this…’, ‘I keep getting lost…’, any such thoughts are simply the first thought of the next chain, unless consciousness can move swiftly and intervene. Another typical response, is to try to get back to the space you were in before you ‘strayed’. You still remember ‘that space’, and now you try to recreate it. This also, is more dukkha.
If, however, we ‘backtrack’’ thoughts, when we get to the seed thought, we have found our way back home, from this space we can literally drop into the same sort of space we were in, before the initial distraction. The whole process is laden with invaluable information on the ‘know thyself’ steam train. We get valuable insights into how our mind works, and none more valuable than the very ‘seed thought’ that we attached to. In practise thoughts do arise, but thoughts can also pass away without being attached onto. It is the thoughts that are ‘sticky’ for us, that we need to ‘see’ with more clarity, as we develop our well greased cast iron non-stick pan of a mind.
If however we are unable to remember the chain of thoughts, then we have dropped breadcrumbs that have been eaten up. In the story of Hansel and Gretel, the first time they were taken to the forest the stones left a trace for the children to find their way back home. The second time Hansel left a trail of breadcrumbs that got eaten up by the animals. Our animal instincts take over and we find ourselves at the house of candy where the witch lives. Lost in the forest of mental thoughts we are seduced by the house of candy, a series of sweet thoughts that we can’t resist. Now we will have to battle the witch. Behind these seductive thoughts are ‘complexes’ built upon ‘who we consider ourselves to be’. The stories we get caught up in are representative of that ego structure that we identify with. These ego structures are represented by the witch. We’ve gone so far down the worm-whole of thought, that now we will have to ‘see through’ some of these deeper mental complexes (the witch), before we can find our way back home again. In the story, when the children do defeat the witch, they find their way back home. They are welcomed back by their loving farther with his arms wide open to embrace them. When we ‘see through’ such deep mental complexes, we return to a more expansive space of consciousness, the doors of the heart may be flung open, we may feel love, balance and joy.
Another Buddhist technique that ties into the technique of ‘back-tracking’ is the practise of ‘noting’. This means that, as we ‘see’ mind states arising, we simply label them. Whatever we notice arising, greed, anger, sadness, craving, aversion, doubt, restlessness etc. we just label it, ‘oh, right now I’m experiencing restlessness’. Such simple observations often disempower the arising mental state, preventing us from falling down the rabbit hole of mind, and needing to backtrack in the first place. The reality is, that sometimes we find ourselves down the rabbit hole. The good news is, often, and more and more with practise, we do ‘find’ ourselves!
In shamanism there is a teaching, that while you are on a shamanic journey, whether under the influence of plants or more simple trance states, if you see and are confronted by some sort of monster, no matter how scary, you must go up and touch it. This is pretty intense, imagine, a two headed, blood drooling, hairy, fanged monster, growling and trembling the earth as it staggers towards you. For those people unfamiliar with these altered states, this experience is as real in the moment as the experience of reading these words is, to you, right now. You are totally lucid, more so, than the most vivid dream you can imagine. Every muscle in your body would be screaming ‘run’, your heart is beating out of your chest, while at the same time, a quiet voice in the back of your mind is reminding you of the teaching. If you don’t go up and touch it, it can come back later and cause you harm, or even kill you.
During practise we will regularly experience energetic blocks at the chakras. Sometimes these are deep inner traumas, anxieties and fears. What sort of harm can this cause us? The natural reaction when we are confronted by such feelings, is to run away and avoid them. This is part of our habitual response mechanisms, ‘where’s the chocolate?!’ (substitute as appropriate). Avoidance is usually the start of distractive mental states. Shifting into mental distractions takes us away from the present. This is ‘old karma’ that if we repeat now, we strengthen the potential for it to replay out in the future. These patterns of mental addiction bring with them constrictions in consciousness as well as physical and emotional constriction to our being. If being awake and present is the equivalent to being alive, then this is why these monsters can kill us, as we get lost in destructive mental states.
We might not have enough balance and presence to go deeply into some blockages, but it is important that we acknowledge them and try to experience them as fully as possible for at least some time. This is ‘touching the monster’. We can start to investigate it, we can ask questions, and bit by bit we can learn, to be ‘with it’ more and more. In this way, the more we are able to genuinely be with it, with equanimity, the more it can dissolve into consciousness, transform and perhaps even tell us it’s story. In this way it starts to teach us something about our-selves, and our ability to face it with greater compassion and understanding grows. The power it has over us is greatly reduced.
Finally, when we are ready, deeply connected to the ‘ground of consciousness’, clear, that we are just that, and not the matrix of ‘I, me and mine’, we can dive right in, allow it to flood our bodies. The bullets of the ego-mind that may have been exploding about you, can no longer cause us harm. Like in the end of the Matrix Neo realises that he can simply stop the bullets, then he dives inside agent Smith and dissolves him from the inside out. There is nothing more to be afraid of. If we do dissolve strong blockages this will always be a moment of deep presence, wakefulness. In the film the other minor agents run for their lives. All other egoic thoughts bubbling beneath the surface will also abate, leaving the mind clear and present.
The next technique I call ‘spontaneous meditation’, it’s hard to give too much guidance on this, it is a little, ‘as it sounds’, but I’ll expand as much as I can. The Indian guru Osho used to have a phrase when talking about people dancing ‘authentically’. He’d say, ‘let the dancer become the danced.’ In our case it is the same, ‘let the meditator become the meditated.’ It’s another way of saying, get ‘you’ your ‘self’, your ego-mind, out of the way, and then let the whole thing unfurl, naturally. In this space we can follow whatever we sense to do instinctively. Unlike certain practises, the body is allowed to be fluid. The spinal column in particular often needs to move and to be adjusted, not restricted. We might focus on physical sensations, on emotions, mental thoughts, the breath, or any other aspect that is present in this moment now. Often in this process we start with grosser sensations as these call our attention strongest. As we stay present to these, subtler ones manifest, demanding our attention. It can also be described as the ‘choice-less choice’, you don’t decide what to meditate upon, you simply meditate upon whatever surfaces on the plane of consciousness in that moment.
There needs to be a certain amount of ‘inner balance’ to be able to work with spontaneous meditation, if not, we will focus on the grosser sensations, that first present themselves, and the mind can stay in a ‘gross’ state. At some point we will start to struggle or need to draw upon another technique that can bring the mind to a subtler space such as anapana.
One of the techniques I use when the mind is too ‘gross’ is what I call, ‘Whats in the house now?’ This comes from a space that feels like I’ve almost given up, all techniques are out the window. Sometimes the body slumps (in this case I’ve been holding a posture, not being in a posture that naturally arose), or it can be the mind that slumps, as I realise that I’ve been striving after some sort of ‘space’ to be in or to establish some sort of technique, then I realise, It’s not happening. It can also be used from less drastic spaces, I simply notice that I’m ‘caught up’ and need to ‘start again’.
‘What’s in the house now?’ is another way of saying, let me just sit with whatever I feel in this moment now. Often that’s not such a good space, physical pain and or mental agitation. But to just decide, ok, even if I’m about to get up, ready to finish this whole practise, I’m just going to sit with it all, just as it is, for a few moments.
So many times this has kick-started a new round of meditation, and a coming back to center. In a similar vein, I also say to myself, ‘ok, one more time’. This comes when I’ve been in strong practise, and I’m surfacing out from those deeper states, ego-mind is already out the blocks, preparing dinner, making that phone call, planning this, planning that. It’s like Goliath is out there starting to swing his axe, he thinks the tribes are terrified and running for cover, Goliath is ready for an easy day on the battlefield when little David, slingshot in hand, pipes up, ‘ok big guy, one more time.’ With that I come back to breath, and as S. N. Goenka would say, ‘start again with a calm and quiet mind’. Goliath looks up in disbelief, suddenly realising this might not be his day. I can’t tell you how many times, this ‘one more time’, has brought deep and meaningful moments.
As the mind becomes more subtle we become more able to simply experience the energetic flow, both internal and external. In some way, this final technique I want to mention is the ‘key to the keys’ of the main technique. Sometimes we just need to bathe ourselves in this vast, infinite energetic field. This comes from the moment of understanding, ‘I am that’, the recognition that the field of energy that vibrates all about you, and the inner energy, are just aspects of the one, the whole mass of universal energy. It can be restorative and beautiful to just allow that energetic field to wash right through you. As these fields of energy harmonise and tune up, this is when we can move into fields of deeper samadhi and head towards the formless realms. I’ve already read you the warning label on overindulgence there. The Buddha even after total awakening would still be found sitting in meditation. People would ask him why. His response was simply that it was pleasurable to do so. This is very much about the ideas of vibration and resonance, just tuning-in to the vast ocean, the energetic field. The path is not always shooting the sea-breeze, but sometimes we need to let go, to just surrender, into the peacefulness of just being.
There is quite a lot of overlap in the techniques I have been talking about, and there are no doubt many other techniques that can be helpful. I want to stress again, all of these states and meditative experiences that we need to cultivate, can arise through natural ways. Each meditator might need to find out what techniques and tools work for themselves. At the end of the day, we simply need to sit (or stand, or run, carry wood and draw water), with a state of awareness, that is perched at the sense doors. I love the idea of the Zen maxim, ‘just sitting’.
As we are going to see, there are however, certain processes that we need to pass through, and there are ‘keys’, that will unlock doors. Even though all this can happen through ‘just sitting’, the reality is, it’s not as easy as it sounds, and so it can be useful to develop your ‘sitting muscles’. Secondly when we do encounter difficulties or blockages, there are skilful ways which we can work through these moments. Some of this will naturally evolve out of our own personal experience, but some of it can be learnt.
When the Buddha talks about dukkha5, he often describes it as a boil that needs to be lanced, or like a dart in your side, that needs to be removed, a disease, a sickness etc. There are also modern teachers such as Mahasi Sayadaw who say we need to become ‘disgusted’ with the mind. Only then can we drop it. The ego-mind is the filter by which we are encountering the world, it is this that is dukkha. For myself, I have been to this place of disgust as I find myself lured back against my will into the thinking mind, rolling in thoughts of the past, the future, or simply lost in fantasies. The moment of ‘coming back’ to an awareness of the present is often immediately clouded over by negative judgemental thoughts such as, ‘I’ve been lost in mind again!’, ‘I’m no good, I can’t do this…’.
However, once you are able to taste the states of a more awakened mind, there is another view-point that opens up. It is no longer disgust with mind, neither disappointment or disgust with ones ‘self’. The ‘view’ can be transformed into the desire to not miss out on all that is, in this moment. This moment is so full of music, sights, feelings and all the other momentary experiences. We become aware how much being suffused by mind dampens down this fuller experience of being. We fall in love with the experience of living in this very moment, we start to want to choose to place our attention right here, right now.
We feel happy with the sensation of having returned ‘home’, like Hansel and Gretel, the farther is always waiting with open arms and a warm heart. This is the secret power of the yogi, we choose where we place our attention. Instead of disgust we can fall in love. When we notice that we’ve been lost in ego-mind we can be more gentle and compassionate towards ourselves, and learn to be joyful to return to the present. This cultivation of love and compassion from our practise of being present can than be transferred into our relationships with others.
There’s one more element I want to mention before we proceed. We can also ask for things. I hesitate as I write this, as this concept takes some people out of their comfort zones. By this I mean I am back in the dilemma of ‘hippy speak’ and ‘new-ageisms’. For me you can label things as you like, but my own experience tells me that we can ask for anything. I am often asking for guidance, protection or understanding. It can be simple or profound.
We can ask for example, ‘Why am I experiencing a blockage at my heart?’ We just need to be aware, that answers don’t necessarily come in the way we might expect them. Before I understand the reason for my blockage at the heart I might need to sit through an intensive sitting, where I am brought face to face with what I am avoiding at this moment in my own psyche. When I finally ‘awaken’ to the reality of my predicament, the block can dissolve, the question answered.
In Buddhism there is a tradition of taking ‘refuge’ in the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha. This idea of refuge, as a shelter, can also be transformed into a gratitude. If it were not for spiritual teachings, to those who discovered them (the Buddhas), if it were not for the actual laws of the universe that make such consciousness possible (the dharma), and if it were not for all the generations of teacher/student relationships, that have kept, and preserved these very teachings (the sangha), you would not be reading this text today. We would not have a base for understanding, possibly not even the inclination to turn our attention inwards. For this we can have a deep sense of gratitude, which already creates an openness of the heart, and an open heart is central to genuine progress. If we also travel down the ancestral time-line, we can also tune-into ‘that’ energy, ‘the force’ or momentum if you like, gathered by generations of ‘practitioners past’ that are willing you on and encouraging you to take that next step on this majestic path.
In the end, we need to be able to sit with an open mind and an open heart, but right now, we need to be able to sit with whatever is here now. We also need to know, that whatever we face on this path, is both, what we need to work through, and appropriate, the universe never sends us what we are not able to deal with. This is also part of the ‘faith’ element in this type of practise, we can really trust in reality. When we can truly trust, we can truly open ourselves up to everything.
1There are many other ‘wholesome’ objects of concentration to meditate on, but these are not going to lead to the awakened mind as a practise in their own right.
2To be more precise, this is the area called the Oropharynx, or the very top of the pharynx where it meets the oral cavity, the mouth.
3There is more information about this in my book, ‘Was Abraham a Brahmin.’
4Things like screen usage and the high stress pace of life in the modern culture are destructive of the more contemplative mind state. We are training the mind towards distraction, and impeding natural capacities that enable us to stay with states of present mind awareness.
5 The five aggregates as dukkha, or perception as dukkha.